I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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