I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
