So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
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He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
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I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.