I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.