we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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