We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
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If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?