Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I've blown a few things in my day

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  (607): I've blown a few things in my day http://tfl.nu/5p5t
  Replies (9) Good night (2851) Bad night (551)
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  (716): View more from New York

  honey bunches of taint.

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  (716): honey bunches of taint. http://tfl.nu/msqz
  Replies (11) Good night (1018) Bad night (2702)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  no.

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  (404): hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer?? (1-404): no. http://tfl.nu/c4dk
  Replies (21) Good night (6393) Bad night (711)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried

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  (512): you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried http://tfl.nu/gu6n
  Replies (131) Good night (6182) Bad night (7346)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game

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  (240): We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game http://tfl.nu/lfk3
  Replies (8) Good night (787) Bad night (6395)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.

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  (703): just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress. http://tfl.nu/rj37
  Replies (7) Good night (2199) Bad night (3907)
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  (760): View more from California

  so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?

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  (760): so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost? http://tfl.nu/osjc
  Replies (21) Good night (2931) Bad night (6882)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again

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  (+44): we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again http://tfl.nu/6h6m
  Replies (13) Good night (3635) Bad night (991)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance

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  (713): He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance http://tfl.nu/pus5
  Replies (11) Good night (764) Bad night (3087)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts

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  (630): btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts http://tfl.nu/hxut
  Replies (4) Good night (3724) Bad night (921)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!

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  (203): Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!! http://tfl.nu/1t5b
  Replies (20) Good night (2179) Bad night (1330)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from

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  (702): the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from http://tfl.nu/ac6d
  Replies (9) Good night (821) Bad night (3253)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.

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  (913): He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me. http://tfl.nu/52qd
  Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (1454)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.

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  (419): By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame. http://tfl.nu/xvaq
  Replies (10) Good night (967) Bad night (406)
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  (916): View more from California

  you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"

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  (916): you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances" http://tfl.nu/1xse
  Replies (2) Good night (1049) Bad night (251)

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