you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.