Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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  (610): doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better. http://tfl.nu/6sgi
  Replies (70) Good night (4048) Bad night (739)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"

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  (303): You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty" http://tfl.nu/y2bi
  Replies (21) Good night (1201) Bad night (6098)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun

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  (970): There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun http://tfl.nu/5s8r
  Replies (12) Good night (8763) Bad night (1087)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking

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  (585): you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking http://tfl.nu/y7bb
  Replies (4) Good night (3260) Bad night (1002)
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  (760): View more from California

  She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.

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  (760): She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle. http://tfl.nu/ihsx
  Replies (4) Good night (2792) Bad night (894)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.

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  (859): I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold. http://tfl.nu/cgsp
  Replies (7) Good night (1493) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...

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  (425): He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by... http://tfl.nu/ardl
  Replies (6) Good night (1872) Bad night (658)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.

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  (631): Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week. http://tfl.nu/z2q6
  Replies (2) Good night (1189) Bad night (502)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced

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  (509): He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced http://tfl.nu/0gfy
  Replies (7) Good night (1681) Bad night (692)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine

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  (317): Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine http://tfl.nu/233e
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (457)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper

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  (303): I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper http://tfl.nu/1zv1
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (645)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.

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  (401): There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying. http://tfl.nu/eu3f
  Replies (6) Good night (1091) Bad night (361)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.

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  (314): So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon. http://tfl.nu/5e1u
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god

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  (320): She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god http://tfl.nu/si6s
  Replies (3) Good night (1040) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  It's a Jersey thing

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  (732): He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet. (216): It's a Jersey thing http://tfl.nu/jggk
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (595)

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