How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
