so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
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In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
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Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.