Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
