i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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