I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
