Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
