It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
