Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
