I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
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I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
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Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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