Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.