I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.