WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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