one word: firstdatebathroomanal
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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