Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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