I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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