I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
