So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
