I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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