Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
