i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
