i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
