there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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