hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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