Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
