AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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