in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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