I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
