I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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