Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
