The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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