I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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