you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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