we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
