enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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