this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
