no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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