Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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