Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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