Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm getting married
To pizza
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
