what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
