Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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