im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
