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• (509): View more from Washington

  Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol

  (661): View more from California

  HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator

  Fav 6 1451 867

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

  Fav 27 1770 781

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for

  Fav 18 4986 1372

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd

  Fav 7 3140 1236

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.

  Fav 8 3393 1153

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome

  Fav 4 981 417

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!

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