ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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