Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
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Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
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he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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