Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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