my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My vagina is officially offended.
Is Oprah even human
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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