Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
