That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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