just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
third nipple confirmed
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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