Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
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