The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
