You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
