We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
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Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
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Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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