the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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