I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
