why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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