just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
