Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
