Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
