Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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