I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
