Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
