True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
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the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
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Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.