Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish