I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.