How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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